Thursday, October 31, 2013

Pippi Longstocking bumps and grinds with Tiger Woods' porn pal


Tired of the monotony of your online life? Then try some of these little diversions.
My soul died a little when I saw pics of Pippi Longstocking with Tiger Woods' porn gal pal. WARNING: NSFW.
Some people really handle break ups like big babies. This man threw $500,000 in gold into a landfill so his estranged wife would not get it. Big baby.
What is up with all the terrible Halloween costumes this year? No dude, it’s not cool to make fun of tragic deaths.
A study says men look at a woman’s body more than her face. Dumb study number 5,010,614.
Beyonce photobombs a fan’s selfie. So rude!
Diana Falzone is a FoxNews.com contributor and the advice columnist for My Wingman Diana on Military.com. Her work has been published in the textbook "Sexuality Education," distributed in universities across North America. You can follow her on Twitter @dianafalzone.

Children of Marvin Gaye sue Robin Thicke over 'Blurred Lines'


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    FILE - This Aug. 1, 2013 file photo shows R&B singer-songwriter Robin Thicke in New York. Two of Marvin Gaye's children, Nona and Frankie Gaye, countersued Thicke and his collaborators on the hit song "Blurred Lines" on Wednesday in Los Angeles claiming the singers improperly copied their father's hit "Got to Give It Up." (Photo by Victoria Will/Invision/AP, File)
Two of Marvin Gaye's children sued Robin Thicke and his collaborators on the hit song "Blurred Lines" on Wednesday, accusing them of copyright infringement and alleging music company EMI failed to protect their father's legacy.
Nona Marvisa Gaye and Frankie Christian Gaye's suit is the latest salvo in a dispute over Thicke's hit and whether it copies elements of Gaye's song "Got to Give It Up."
Their lawsuit seeks to block Thicke and collaborators Pharrell and T.I. from using elements of their father's music in "Blurred Lines" or other songs.
Thicke has denied copying Gaye's song for "Blurred Lines," which has the longest streak this year atop the Billboard Hot 100 chart and has sold more than 6 million tracks so far. The suit also accused Thicke of improperly using Gaye's song "After the Dance" in his song "Love After War."
Much of the lawsuit focuses on claims that EMI should have pursued a copyright infringement claim. It also alleges the company's executives used intimidation to try to stop the Gaye family from pursuing a lawsuit.
The suit claims EMI, which is owned by Sony/ATV Music Publishing, has allowed a conflict of interest between the family's rights and the profits it is earning from "Blurred Lines" sales.
"This conflict has resulted in EMI's intentional decision to align themselves with the ('Blurred Lines') writers, without regard to the harm inflicted upon the rights and interests of the Gaye Family, and the legacy of Marvin Gaye," the lawsuit states.
Sony-ATV said it takes "very seriously" its role of protecting its songwriters' works from infringement.
"While we have not yet seen the claims by the Gaye family against EMI, we have repeatedly advised the Gaye family's attorney that the two songs in question have been evaluated by a leading musicologist who concluded that 'Blurred Lines' does not infringe 'Got To Give It Up,'" the company said in a statement.
Sony-ATV also said that while it treasures Marvin Gaye's works and the company's relationship with his family, "we regret that they have been ill-advised in this matter."
Thicke and his collaborators filed a case in August asking a federal judge to rule that the singers did not copy "Got to Give It Up" for their hit.
Howard King, who represents the singers, said the Gayes' countersuit was not unexpected, but he said their decision to sue EMI demonstrates the family lacks the appropriate authority to pursue the case against his clients.
He rejected the notion that EMI turned a blind eye to improper copying of Gaye's music. "EMI is in the business of collecting money for infringements," King said.
The company likely consulted a musicologist who found nothing improper, the attorney said. King said his firm consulted three music experts who determined the notes in the two songs were different.
Gaye's son Marvin Gaye III also might pursue legal action over the song, but he is not included in the federal court suit filed Wednesday.

Jenny McCarthy: 'I am terrified' of Oprah Winfrey because I left her network


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    Oprah Winfrey, left, and Jenny McCarthy. (REUTERS)
Oprah Winfrey may be one of the most powerful women on earth, so if you cross her, look out.
Just ask Jenny McCarthy.
On Oct. 29, McCarthy appeared on Andy Cohen’s gabfest on Bravo, “Watch What Happens Live,” where she admitted that she was “scared of Oprah.”

“The View” co-host was very open with Cohen, explaining the circumstances surrounding her sudden departure from Winfrey’s OWN network back in 2011. “I did a deal with her for five years, but we, we kind of shook hands. I would be scared she would beat me up.”

As FOX411 first reported
, Jenny McCarthy decided to cut bait with Winfrey after growing frustrated with the creative team at Winfrey’s fledging cable network.
“Jenny wasn’t thrilled with the direction that OWN producers were going with on the show,” a source told us exclusively at the time. “She had been working with Oprah and her producers for over a year, developing this project for OWN. Jenny finally decided to embrace Oprah’s philosophy, which is to ‘follow your bliss.’ Well, Jenny followed her bliss and walked right off the project.”

At the time, reps for OWN denied that McCarthy ever had a show in development at the network. After FOX411 published a report that Winfrey and McCarthy had, in fact, parted ways, OWN representatives released a statement to “Access Hollywood” saying that “the project was never in the works for the cable channel.”

But on Thursday, McCarthy confirmed that she did, in fact, have a show in development at OWN. ”It didn't [work out]," she explained to Cohen. "I left.”
The former Playboy Playmate even admitted that she has been avoiding the talk show titan for the past couple of years. “I am terrified,” she said, not entirely exaggerating. “I would be, like, oh no [if we ran into each other]!”
Cohen, smiling wryly, asked, ”Do you think you're on her 'list'?"
"I'm sure there's probably a lot of people on her sh*t list,” laughed McCarthy. “But I'm probably number four.”
OWN’s struggles--with or without McCarthy-- have been well documented. Discovery Communications, OWN’s parent company, has sunk at least $509 million dollars into the network since its launch in 2011. OWN has also suffered from a series of expensive, high-profile flops, including Rosie O’Donnell’s failed talk show. At one point, OWN’s ratings were even worse than the channel it replaced, Discovery Health.
Winfrey has openly acknowledged her struggles with the network. She told People magazine that last summer she had suffered from “the symptoms of a nervous breakdown” after a series of reports of OWN’s very public failings.
“People were counting me out,” she explained to the magazine. “After 25 years of being No. 1, I had become accustomed to success. I didn’t expect failure. I was tested and I had to dig deep.”

But even though McCarthy and Winfrey are no longer BFFs, Winfrey has no hard feelings. On Wednesday she tweeted, “.@JennyMcCarthy don't have a shxt list. If I did you'd never be on it. Wishing you only good fortune, love and light and watching @TheView.”

Brian Cranston narrates epic exploration of science through the ages on 'Big History' series

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    Bryan Cranston poses backstage with his awards for outstanding male actor in a drama series for "Breaking Bad" and for outstanding cast in a motion picture for "Argo" at the 19th annual Screen Actors Guild Awards in Los Angeles, California January 27, 2013. (REUTERS)
Bryan Cranston has an authoritative voice, which all by itself would qualify him to narrate "Big History."
But there's another reason Cranston is a fine choice for this new docuseries, which pledges to reveal "one grand unified theory" for how every event in history (13.7 billion years of it) is intertwined by science. Cranston, after all, starred in the recently concluded drama "Breaking Bad" as Walter White, the nation's favorite psychotic former high-school chemistry teacher.
"Walt was a passionate teacher," Cranston says with a laugh, "and even through the dastardly deeds that he found himself doing later on, he was still a teacher: He taught Jesse the chemistry of cooking meth."
"Breaking Bad" is behind him, and now, in Cranston's current TV project, he is as much student as teacher as he confronts each script for the 16-episode-plus-finale series, which premieres Saturday at 10 p.m. EDT on the H2 network (an extension of the History channel).
"The series uses science and history to show how various things that we take for granted these days had their origins thousands of years ago," Cranston says by phone from the Los Angeles studio where he is busy taping his commentary.
Two half-hour episodes of "Big History" will air on premiere night.
"The Superpower of Salt" reveals its subject to be far more than the thing you cut down on if you have high blood pressure.
"New York City wouldn't be the city that it is without salt," Cranston declares in the episode. Moreover, salt helped determine the road system of America and beyond: It "has silently engineered our global map."
Salt's all-important role in animal life was demonstrated eons ago by the genesis of the egg, a portable container for salty water that allowed a creature to leave the sea for dry land to procreate there. (Even the amniotic sack in the womb serves as a personal ocean for the fetus, he notes.)
The second episode, "Horse Power Revolution," makes clear the noble equine's legacy goes deeper than pulling a plow and toting Paul Revere on his midnight ride.
It was early nomads in Central Asia some 6,000 years ago who first rode horses, Cranston reports.
Among many unexpected benefits the horse spurred was pants. Citizens of ancient Rome wore tunics, which were impractical for riding horses, as Roman soldiers must have realized anew while battling barbarian enemies who sported this sartorial innovation. The Roman cavalry soon got on board. From there, pants became the rage for clotheshorses the world over.
Prior to the H2 series, Big History began as a course developed to help students better understand the world by revealing "big picture" connections between different fields of study. A free, online version is available online.
"I love learning how a moment in history carries through to today's life," says Cranston.
Asked what kind of student he was during his school years, he recalls, "I was good when I wanted to be. And I could get enthused about any subject if a teacher made it come alive.
"That's what this series does. It describes the relationship we have to our history. It explains how and why this is important to ME. That's what's key!"

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher finally settle divorce


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    Actress Demi Moore and her boyfriend actor Ashton Kutcher arrive at aspecial screening of the film "Charlie's Angels Full Throttle" June 25,2003 in New York City. The film opens June 27th in the United States.REUTERS/Jeff ChristensenJC/ME
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have ­finally agreed to settle their bruising divorce ­battle two years after they separated, sources told the New York Post's Page Six.

According to the sources, the May-December couple, who contentiously split in November 2011 and have been battling ever since, have signed ­divorce paperwork and could file the legal documents as soon as next week.

“Ashton and Demi have finally signed their divorce agreement,” said one source close to the couple. “They are about to file paperwork with the court that will formally end their marriage.”

Last month, the couple was seen chatting cordially at an LA airport after returning from the same tech conference. Though they separated nearly two years ago, Kutcher only filed for ­divorce in late 2012, and Moore in March.

Sources previously told The Post the pair was bitterly fighting over money. Kutcher, 35, became the highest-paid actor on TV when he joined the cast of “Two and a Half Men” and he also has made extensive lucrative tech investments through his A-Grade investments firm with Guy Oseary and Ron Burkle.

Perfect cast keeps 'Last Vegas' from being over-the-hill 'Hangover'


“Last Vegas” could easily be dismissed as the over-the-hill “Hangover,” but a perfect ensemble cast comfortable with their ages and light-hearted material offers a tender, slightly more serious look at odd-ball friendships whilst gallivanting around Sin City.
Expect the expected. The plot is as predictable as they come. We already know the stereotypes, the situations the characters will haphazardly fall into and exactly how they will be resolved. That would generally kill a movie, but Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline keep the stale Vegas act from being a cheap matinee performance. Writer Dan Fogelman (“Cars”) infuses some light drama into the comedy and director John Turteltaub (“National Treasure”) gets spritely, genuine performances from the cast, making “Last Vegas” more like wearing a pair of comfortable shoes rather than getting the last remaining bits of soggy chicken at the casino buffet. 
Known in their youth as the Flatbush Four, the quartet of Brooklyn friends had the stereotypical golden oldies childhood before growing apart over the years, only keeping in touch via phone to relay their medical problems. But when never-married Billy (Douglas) finally gets engaged to a 30 year-old woman, Archie (Freeman), Sam (Kline) and Paddy (De Niro) all agree to meet in Vegas for a massive send-off. There’s only one problem: Billy and Paddy loathe each other and haven’t spoken in years.
Problems aside, the four go on a Sin City free-for-all, using their age to their advantage: judging a bikini contest, scoring a ridiculous VIP suite at Aria and becoming the most popular kids in town. Of course there are the required old-age jokes that come with the territory, but the fun is watching these guys let loose.
Countering the aging testosterone is the lovely Mary Steenburgen as Diana, a lonely lounge singer who comes between Billy and Paddy. Having once competed to date the female of their group back in their Flatbush days, Billy and Paddy once again square off over Diana, who is either the biggest threat to their friendship or potentially its saving grace. You can guess which way it goes.
Each character is given adequate time to be relevant; each has their own personal story and issues they need to resolved which are just deep enough to make the audience care. This slice of seriousness adds a great deal, keeping “Last Vegas” from becoming trite and maudlin. Also, having fantastic actors helps matters greatly, too.
There is obvious excitement among the cast, which becomes more contagious as the film progresses. Kline and Freeman especially seem to love the change of pace as the comic relief against the bitter and rivaling Douglas and De Niro. Freeman is much more laid back than we are accustomed and is really the highlight of the film. 
Completing the cast are Roger Bart as a drag queen, Jerry Ferrara as a frat boy punk and Romany Malco as the boys’ concierge, but the draw is the Flatbush Four.
With the current crop of heavy films in theaters, “Last Vegas” is a crowd-pleasing, light-hearted alternative.
CBS Films. MPAA Rating: PG-13. Running time: 1 hour and 30 minutes.

Yoko Ono 'thankful' for Paul McCartney's comments


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    Yoko Ono and John Lennon are shown in 1970. (AP)
Yoko Ono says she's thankful Paul McCartney appears to have gotten over his grudge against her.
McCartney, in a recent Rolling Stone interview, said he's getting along fine with the widow of John Lennon, his old songwriting partner. The bad feelings had gone back decades, to when the Beatles were falling apart and other group members resented the appearance of Lennon's new girlfriend in the recording studio.
McCartney said that time was a great healer and thought that "if John loved her, there's got to be something. He's not stupid." He said once he decided to let go of his grudge that they've been getting along fine.
Ono, in an interview with The Associated Press, said Wednesday it was good to hear those words from McCartney and "I'm very thankful."
"I never felt too bad about Paul," she said. "He was my husband's partner and they did a great job and all that. They seemed to have a lot of fun, and I respected that."
Some of the bad feelings had persisted in the post-Beatles years, as Ono was a regular partner in business affairs surrounding the group after Lennon's death in 1980 — perhaps most notably when McCartney expressed a desire to change songwriting credits to "McCartney-Lennon" instead of "Lennon-McCartney" for some of the songs most associated with him.
McCartney told Rolling Stone he admires Ono's work. She's still making and releasing new music at age 80, like McCartney is at age 71.

Happy Halloween from Lil’ Miley Kim


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So, that’s what the purple wig was all about. Miley Cyrus took to Instagram and showed her Halloween spirit as rapper Lil’ Kim circa the 1999 MTV VMAs. 
Miley has spoken of her affinity for Lil’ Kim before, even stating she was her in her in a past life.
Confirming that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, the rapper responded in kind with a retweet:
Adding to Miley's raunchy celebration, the pop singer tweeted a photo of some X-rated carved pumpkins, which featured explicit sexual images. 
Along with the photo tweet, Cyrus warned her followers that the image attached contained "xxxxxxplicit pornkinzzz #beware."

Family Feud' welcomes Honey Boo Boo, Cake Boss


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    Honey Boo Boo Left-Leaner The six-year-old star of  TLC's contribution to humanity, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” Alana Thompson, was prodded by talk show host Jimmy Kimmel into making a presidential endorsement. While she cannot vote, she still offered her favorite: “Marack Obama.” (REUTERS)
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She's hollered for a dollar, but now Honey Boo Boo (real name: Alana Thompson) and
her backwoods brood have to guess what the survey says during a showdown against the "Cake Boss" clan on "Family Feud" (Nov. 11, syndicated).
"This little girl is something out of another planet," says "Feud" executive producer Gaby Johnston. "She has a wonderful personality. She was really smart, and it meant a lot to her."
Both families play for charity and prepared for the face-offs by practicing on the show's official app before the cameras rolled. HostSteve Harvey couldn't help but get goofy with the pint-size pageant queen. At one point, Johnston says, "She put her head on the desk, and Steve said, 'Hey, I can do that too!' It was adorable watching the two of their heads together. He was so good with her."

New book on River Phoenix details his short life on 20th anniversary of actor's death


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Today is the 20th anniversary of the untimely death of River Phoenix. The talented actor was only 23 when he died of an overdose on the sidewalk outside The Viper Room, a hip bar owned by Johnny Depp. Acclaimed journalist Gavin Edwards vividly describes Phoenix's unusual upbringing and career in 'Last Night at the Viper Room.' He spoke to FOX411 about the book.
FOX411: What made you want to write a book about River Phoenix?
Gavin Edwards: A long time ago I'd seen a very late night showing of 'My Own Private Idaho' and it just sort of stayed with me like a fever dream. I didn't know that much about his life when I started looking into it. I just always had this vision of a lonely soul.
FOX411: What surprised you about him?
Edwards: I didn't know that much about his childhood. I was not aware that his family had been in a cult. I knew he had a bohemian upbringing. You could tell that from the kids names - River, Leaf, Rain, but I had no idea to the the extent that they were outside society, living in Venezuela, busking for change in the streets.
FOX411: So it's pretty ironic that they go to the modern day version of Sodom and Gomorrah, Hollywood.
Edwards: The industry is particularly awful for children. River acted alongside people like Corey Feldman who came out very damaged. But again and again I heard stores from people that even when he was in awful situations, the best qualities in him would come through. When he was in a contentious situation on a movie set he was the peacemaker. Even in drug situations he wasn't the addict with narrowed eyes saying, 'You're not going to take my stash.' He always showed a generosity of spirit. No matter how bad things got. That's why there was a lot of push and pull for Hollywood with him. It was compelling and awful and even when it was awful he showed his best self.
FOX411: When did his addiction become serious?
Edwards: He was using recreationally at a relatively young age but the turning point everyone seems to feel was on 'My Own Private Idaho.' He went down the rabbit hole of pursuing that character. It was possibly the best thing he ever did but it came at a very high personal cost.
FOX411: When he started convulsing at the Viper Room no one called 911.
Edwards: This is the horrible celebrity drug calculus. 'Can I wake this guy up and walk him around? Maybe he's having a bad half hour and he's going to be fine.' Everyone around him was trying to avoid calling an ambulance because they didn't want to deal with the consequences. He'd been in 'Idaho' but he definitely wanted a more wholesome image. Getting busted for drugs was not in the plan.
FOX411: Did his family ever do an intervention?
Edwards: I think if there was one they haven't talked about it. I think they were in denial about how bad it was and hopeful that it would work itself out.
FOX411: And he was the primary breadwinner for his large family.
Edwards: Yes, I'm sure even if that wasn't consciously coloring their decision you have to wonder on some level if that was how they were approaching it.
Also as vividly at people remember him I think his star has faded a little bit. Going through and finding these gems of movies that nobody ever talks about. He was nominated for an Oscar for 'Running on Empty,' 'Dogfight' is a wonderful film. Culturally we seem to have room in the 90's for one beautiful dead blonde boy and Kurt Cobain ended up getting that slot. I'm hopeful that there will be a River Phoenix renaissance and people will rediscover what he did.

Katy Perry: Mick Jagger hit on me when I was 18

Katy Perry was on the brink of stardom for a few years before she made it big with her hit “I Kissed a Girl,” in 2007. And as she struggled to find fame in Hollywood the now 29-year-old starlet said she did backup vocals for some of the biggest stars—including a very, very friendly Mick Jagger.
In a recent interview with Australian DJs Ash, Kip & Luttsy, on Nova FM, Perry claimed that Jagger came on to her when she was about 18 years old.
Perry worked with the Rolling Stones rocker on his hit “Old Habits Die Hard,” and she said she even went out to dinner with the now 70-year-old icon.
“I actually went to dinner with [Jagger] one time, and he hit on me when I was like 18!” she said. “That was a long time ago, and he’s been very kind.”
The DJs pressed on about how Perry turned down the famous singer’s advances
“Well you bring a friend and then they do them!” Perry said. “You sacrifice your friend.”
Jagger's rep told FOX411 that the incident Perry described never took place. 
"Mick Jagger categorically denies that he has ever made a pass at Katy Perry...Perhaps she is confusing him with someone else," the rep said. 

Break Time: Tori Spelling has a sex tape... who cares?

Welcome to Break Time! The wacky things on the web that everyone is talking about. 
Enough is enough. Tori Spelling tells-all about her sex tapeshocker! What is so shocking?  You and your hubby have like half a dozen kids.Yawn.
A new website reveals the woman who broke up your relationship.

Unfortunately, selfies have become a staple in society but that does mean taking selfies in all social settings is appropriate.  For example,do not take selfies at funerals and tweet about attending the death of your grandmother.

Some women need to get naked like Gaga for attention but for others like Sofia Vergara a very well-fitted pair of skin tight pants will do the trick.

Stay calm, drink wine! Or not! There could be a wine shortage in the very near future.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Dr. Conrad Murray: Out of Prison!

  After two years behind bars, Dr. Conrad Murray is a free man. Michael Jackson's former doctor was quietly released from jail shortly after midnight this morning.
Dr. Conrad Murray Pic
Locked up since November 2011 for involuntary manslaughter, the embattled physician slipped past the paparazzi undetected, headed for parts unknown.
There was no triumphant press conference, but as TMZ notes, by remaining unseen, Murray knows he just ups the price tag of that coveted first interview.
Murray was sentenced to four years in prison, the maximum for the crime he was convicted of, but serving two isn't out of the ordinary for such offenders.
Reports say he plans to try and get his medical license back in Nevada and block revocation in California, so he can practice again. Good luck with that.
He's also looking to hire a publicist to change his image, which may be an even bigger task if he ever wants to get patients ... or not get death threats.
Not that he doesn't have other plans. Sources say that in jail, Murray penned a large portion of a book about his life and his time with Michael Jackson.
A big chunk of his story casts blame on others and justifies his conduct in the treatment that ultimately killed the singer and sent Murray to the slammer.
If you've heard any Dr. Conrad Murray interviews/random voicemails since being locked up, this won't come as a huge surprise. Guy is a tad delusional ..
- See more at: http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2013/10/dr-conrad-murray-out-of-prison/#sthash.XRtWjqvc.dpuf

Justin Bieber Goes Through "Recovery," Unleashes New Single -

t's Monday morning and we all know what that means!
A new episode of The Walking Dead Season 4 to chew over? Well, yes. But also new music from Justin Bieber!
For the fourth week in a row, the young artist has released a new single and made it available for fans to purchase off iTunes. This one is titled "Recovery" and you shouldn't waste another moment before giving it a listen:
How does this track compare to “Hold Tight," “All That Matters," and “Heartbreaker?"
Sound off now and scroll down to read the full lyrics to "Recovery," as Justin asks someone (Selena Gomez?!?) for a second chance.
If it’s going to sleep alone at night
I don’t wanna close my eyes
Wanna give you all I have to give
I’m not holdin back this time
Now that i’m back around ya,
Nothin around me matters
Hope you feel the same
First, I’ll acknowledge
All trust has been broken
A successful recovery
I pray for us at night
Grants me with a second chance
Never thought I’d see your face again
Learning life through trial and error
And tryna make it right.
Make it right (make it right, make it right)
Make it right (make it right, make it right)
make it right (make it right, make it right)
this time i’ll do you right
You know I’ma do you right
You know I’ma do you right
You know I’ma do you right
You know I’ma do you right
I’ma do you right
You know I’ma do you right
- See more at: http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2013/10/justin-bieber-goes-through-recovery-unleashes-new-single/#sthash.gw7l1wCj.dpuf

Keeping Up With the Kardashians Recap: North West is Here!! -

Kim Kardashian welcome to North West on Sunday's Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but those looking for an all-access ticket to her birth were let down.
To be sure, a great deal of drama surrounded Kim’s delivery as the reality star gave birth five weeks early after finding out she was suffering from toxemia.
“Basically, I have to deliver the baby right now,” said a surprisingly calm Kim to Khloe, though momager Kris freaked. How did it all play out on TV and life?
Check out our Keeping Up With the Kardashians recap below!
Weirdly, or maybe not weirdly considering who we're dealing with, it was Kris Jenner who gave the green light for the girls to go to the hospital. Minus 100.
There, Khloe filmed Kim on her phone. “I’m excited to meet you,” Kim said to her future offspring, noting that “daddy” Kanye West was on his way.
Unlike Kourtney Kardashian pulling out her baby in all its glory, there was zero footage of Kim. They cut to Khloe telling Bruce that the baby arrived.
We get that a person might not want that process filmed. For sure. But that's the entire nature of these human beings' lives, so ... WEAK. Minus 4,900.
The baby’s arrival left Kris panicking to get their home ready, and it was far from set up as they weren't expecting North West for at least a month.
“My kids have weddings in nine days and babies five weeks early,” said Kris (referring to Khloe and Lamar). “They’re going to give me a heart attack.”
Hopefully this also doesn't end with ... well, you know.
Kim Kardashian on Keeping Up
North suffered from a little jaundice and had to spend the night in an incubator, but beyond that, Kim and her “cantaloupes” were calm and healthy. Plus 1,000.
The family prepped Kim's placenta pills and umbilical cord, while getting shots to prevent whooping cough and talking about Kim's boobs some more. Plus 500.
Khloe says, “Honestly, I’ve never seen boobs like that in real life ever,” while Kim notes that her vagina “looks better than before.” Wonder if Ray J would agree.
As for the actual act of giving birth? “Labor was honestly the easiest thing ever,” revealed Kim, adding, “And then just staring at her, I’m like ‘Oh my god.'"
"Everything that they say happens ... that you fall in love and it’s this deep connection ... is true.” The most honest words ever spoken by Kim. Plus 1,500.
Kim also addressed Kanye’s preference that North not appear on the show.
“I signed on to do this, but it doesn’t mean Kanye and my child have signed on, and I’m fine with keeping them more private,” said the reality star.
She “still an open book,” though, and wants to pose for Playboy. “I just want to come out to the world like, ‘I am back and I’m so hot. You all called me a whale!’”
Good priorities, Kim. Way to go. Minus 2,000. Although if it means Kim Kardashian nude in Playboy again, give it a Plus 1,000 because we'd check it out.
You seen that selfie she posted before she got engaged? Just saying.
Elsewhere, Khloe made a “friend” with a random transvestite working the L.A. streets, who deemed himself a “crack baby,” and volunteered at a women's center.
Plus 750 for that serious and unexpectedly uplifting side storyline.
Bruce, meanwhile, was excited about his own growing friendship with comedian Jeff Dunham. Even if Bruce proved to be bad at keeping in touch.
“This whole male bonding thing I don’t understand!” said Bruce Jenner.
“It's nice to have a friend outside of the family” with shared interests.
Brody would agree with that Bruce. Amen. Plus 250.
EPISODE TOTAL: -2,000. SEASON TOTAL: -9,051.
- See more at: http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2013/10/keeping-up-with-the-kardashians-recap-north-west-is-here/#sthash.eTJX1xUJ.dpuf

Heidi Montag and Jen Bunney Hang Out, Look Almost Like Normal Humans

  Heidi Montag and Jen Bunney are still friends and still hanging out, despite The Hills having long since wrapped. Even more incredibly? They look less plastic.
"Having fun :) @heidipratt," Bunney captioned the picture below:
Heidi Montag and Jen Bunney Photo
The girl who underwent 10 plastic surgery procedures in a single day, looks happier and healthier than we've seen her in years in little to no makeup.
For Heidi Montag, this is as good as she's looked since ... ever.
Jen Bunney appeared in several episodes of Laguna Beach as Lauren Conrad's friend before transitioning to a supporting, occasional role on The Hills
Then along came Spencer Pratt and kind of ruined everything.
Pratt's presence caused a serious rift between Conrad and Montag on the show, and Bunney was seemingly thrown into the middle of it during Season 2.
Conrad blasted Bunney for "hooking up" with her ex-boyfriend Brody Jenner, and after a series of awkward apologies, the two ended their friendship.
Montag and Bunney were able to remain friends, however, both on the show and long after the cameras stopped rolling and she went broke in 2010.
Bunney is current pursuing her Masters in public health, epidemiology, and global healthcare policy at UC-Berkeley. She is engaged to Taylor Dunphy.
Heidi and Spencer are still doing whatever it is they do.

Breakup Letter Tells Off Cheating Ex, is Seriously Epic

f you've ever endured the unexpected, abrupt demise of a seemingly blissful, loving and long relationship, then this breakup letter is a must-read.
There were red flags, says the author of the letter originally published on Your Tango, but none so glaring that they gave her pause. Until it was all over.
He just wasn't feeling it anymore.
Text Breakup
"But I'm committed to a friendship," said the boyfriend of nine months ... who it turned out had been having an affair with his most recent ex the whole time.
Through a twist of Facebook fate, the scorned woman discovered this - "Her life is chaos too, so she gets it," he would later say - and penned an opus.
Behold, possibly the most epic breakup letter ever (and yes, she sent it all, via text message) to the man who wasted her time and broke her heart:
"Don't worry, darling. My anger won't last long. I know your life is already your punishment."
Oooooh. That alone would have been a great kiss-off. But she elaborates ...
"A 40-year-old man of mediocre accomplishment who's incapable of true intimacy, who casually lies and cheats, who's being sued by his own aunt, who hardly has the love of his own family, who has few friends and no community to speak of, who's been living in his musty, forgotten childhood home in suburban New Jersey for almost a year, alone, at 40, who isn't even close to his ultimate dream of a book deal, who is frail, insecure, pathetic, tortured, has no moral fiber, who's dissatisfied with his career and is constantly traveling to corporate wastelands."
She's just warming up after that record-setting sentence, too ...
"And then a woman comes along and tries to love him, encourage his dreams, invite him to be her 'other whole,' and he repays her kindness with lies, secrecy, a handful of sh!tty chocolates he probably picked up at the airport on his way home from France, an unceremonious breakup based on his own inability to get close to someone who has her sh!t together and with whom he could have a real partnership, and tops it off by having an affair with his ex the entire time - at an apartment just ten blocks away from his girlfriend's. And projects onto his girlfriend that she was the untrustworthy one. And tells her the breakup was about 'something I just can't put my finger on.'"
She can put her finger on this one quite clearly, however:
"This is who you are: an aging, sad, sneaky, devious man who travels from one hotel to another, putting on a face for strangers, living out of a suitcase, having no real home and no connections, lying to others, lying to himself. So I don't have to humiliate you."
"Your entire life is one big humiliation. And no matter how much you meditate, do yoga and undergo therapy, this will never change. This is who you are."

Wow. Just wow. In a word ... OWNED.